Skeletons in my closet

The silent running dialogue that I often have with myself.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

My tortured SOLES!

I was really on some different stuff today but I had to give you a little recap of Essence.

First this is an official warning to all black women in America!


I don’t care if they match the outfit.
I don’t care if they just look so cute with the bag!
Don’t wear them!

It is not cute for you to hobble into the club, concert, movie, restaurant, party. You look crippled!

It is not cute for you to pull out a pair of slippers, flip flops, socks, (tucked in your purse) sit down to put them own, carry your cute shoes in your hand until you reach the destination, then put the hurting shoes on again.

At the end of the night poor babies feet all hot, red, and angry. Where the laces cross, or straps buckle, purple bruises have formed. Hours of abuse have left their former manicured soles lost in a tortured embrace. They huddle together, often overlapping. They pay the ultimate price for fashion. Then most of ya feet kinda rough to begin with, this don’t help.

Just please don’t wear the cute shoes. By the time you hobble to your seat, the damn show is over anyway. I don’t know if all cute shoes are two small, or that they are just designed to hurt. But the reality is someone is playing a cruel joke on all members of the female persuasion. Maybe you need to have a federal probe, some indictments, somebody needs to go to jail.

It just doesn’t stand to reason that all cute women shoes hurt.

Not to leave the guys out:

See Bruh, when you buy the Hen Dog, that Grey Goose and tonic, that Scotch and soda, any number of alcohol containing mixed drinks, it comes with the five things:
Liquid beverage

I didn’t say straw (arrow pointing to number 5) I said stirrer. The item in your cup that is thin usually red in color, and has one or two holes is not for the consumption of your beverage, it is to stir your beverage, to chew, to catch ice at the end…anything other than drinking. It is not a straw. Liquor was not designed to be consumed that way.

Besides bruh you telling on your self, nice suit, nice shoes, nice watch; drinking Hennessey from a straw… Like school in the summertime.

Now, back to Essence. Sat 2nd Row center saw Kanye West, Destiny Child.

I have a rule that I usually follow; I don’t see rappers in concert because it is usually boring. After watching Mr. West for 20 minutes, I realize that my general rule is still applicable.

Saw the chick from Girlfriends at Essence. (the show that comes on UPN, but my Direct TV service does not carry UPN as a local station, I am writing letters). I don’t know her name, but her character is the spoiled black chic, who is married to the doctor (I have not seen the show in one year so sorry if I am out of date). She sat three seats down from me. Da girl needs to eat some bread, some biscuits, with gravy. Girl was Poe! I hate to say it because on TV she is BAD, real nice, slim but nice. But in the real, damn she skinny. And that lip thing she got, well real life makes that lip thing look serious. And to top it all off she can’t dance. I mean it was some Elaine Benis from Seinfeld type shyte she was doing. EMBARRASSING!!! Then she was wit some white chic…never mind moving on.

Anyway, Destiny’s Child was on point. Dem girls can sing. I have a debate raging about who is the prettiest. Kelly just looks cute to me, and pretty, still Beyonce is sexy. Right now it is a draw.

Last but not least, why are women in this habit of leering at a brotha. They stare, then look ya ole lady up and down then stare some more. It is similar to what I have seen some dudes do. It is just rude! Now I don’t want tot get it twisted, Maybe I had a booger in my nose or on my cheek, but man chics is just as aggressive as men.

More later.

And I am gone!!!!


  • At 1:45 PM, Blogger Serenity23 said…

    I have to tell you about my motto "Beauty feels no pain." So whenever I'm getting dressed to go somewhere, I look for the shoes that will complete my outfit and if that means by the end of the night I can't walk, well then that's my ass, not yours...... And while we are on the subject of shoes, niccas please quit wearing sandals. They ain't for you. And I'm gone.....

  • At 2:14 PM, Blogger muffin said…

    lol @ serenity!!!! ok where are the essence pics?

  • At 3:25 PM, Blogger Butter Pecan said…

    Well all I can say is if the shoes are cute wear them whether they hurt your dam feet or not only you have to feel the pain later. In my case I only buy cute shoes that dont hurt my dam feet cause I hate that shit.

    LMAO @ serenity. Girl u crazy.

  • At 9:26 PM, Blogger sj-the-infamous said…

    see the key is to have cute shoes -- those a sista can comfortably walk and STAND in for lengthy periods of time...and to have the come-hithers, which are NOT made for walking and are best the air. sistas be confusing the 2 in the name of beauty.

  • At 3:35 PM, Blogger The Princess Herself said…

    I have always said, the cuter the shoe, the more them shits hurt!
    That's just the price we have to pay to be cute from head to toe!

    LOL@ SJ--maybe you're right! Maybe that's whats going on!

    Serenity, there are not many brutha's that can pull off sandals. A few..but not a general are right.

  • At 5:14 PM, Blogger Brown Shuga said…

    Aww man. The agony of deFEET!!! OOOoowee! I know it too well. Trying to look all cute in some tiny ass shoes that are cute as hell. Uh uh...I can't do it no more. Been there done that. Fugg that! Um...I'm LOL at that comment about the stirrers and the fact that you said they they are also made to be chewed on. *looking at my chewed up stirrir now* LOL

  • At 5:26 PM, Blogger Brown Shuga said… mentioned Destiny's Churrin. But you didn't talk about Michelle? What? She's not pretty to you? *smile*

  • At 6:41 AM, Blogger Closet Owner said…

    Yeah, she pretty, but she kinda spooky looking. Kinda spindly. Like a spider.

  • At 10:50 AM, Blogger said…

    You have to tell me...Does Michelle (in Destinys Child) dance as messed up in person than she does in the videos? That one seems to have 2 left feet.

  • At 12:49 PM, Blogger Closet Owner said…

    true, true....It was kinda odd. i think Beyounce must come up with the dance stuff, cause it is all about hips and ass, and kelly and Michille and little of either.


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