Skeletons in my closet

The silent running dialogue that I often have with myself.

Monday, November 14, 2005

On to the next.

Trying to wrap my finger around a little issue that is unfolding in my home.

To set the background:
I am a 32 year old, recently re-marred father of two. One child is product of a former wife; the other is of my present union. Both children live with me. I am a professional, and work professional hours. I have high expectations from women and a low tolerance for suspect behavior (aka foolishness).
Want more read some past blogs that’s all I have for now!

More to the point, I have realized that my wife hates me. I don’t know when it started but I am catching on quickly, I am not her favorite person. I think it started sometime soon after the new baby was born.

Okay if you don’t believe me I will give you a few examples.

Yesterday, I am watching the Falcons loose to the Packers. NFL games are about 3 hrs long and this one was headed into the second hour. I’m munching on some Doritos, and drinking a beer when I feel an icy chill over my left side. I turn quickly to my right and barely register the glance…no, more of a stare from my wife. She is sitting breastfeeding the baby, her hair dishevel, her clothes frumpy, I turn and face her directly and ask what’s wrong?

SideNote: Every cat in here can attest to the next five minutes of conversation.
“What’s wrong?”
You sure?
“Yeah, finish watching the game!”
“Okay, but what’s bothering you?”
“Nothing, I am fine!”
This conversation can only in three ways:
1. If This goes on for five minutes you are in the clear, go back to watching the game, are to the Playstation 2, or too your nap.

2. If it stops abruptly, you have screwed up, watch the rest of the game or finish whatever you are doing, and beg to be forgiven later at the moment you choose.
3.IF she starts talking…you are screwed, now you cant even finish the game.

Of course she said nothing but I insisted and still got nothing.

But the look spoke a thousand words. She might want me dead.
Okay, she does want me dead. My problem is I don’t know why.

Three nights ago, I was stirred from why restful slumber by the icy stare. I sluggishly opened one eye, the Stare. I closed that one eye quickly. I heard the baby cry for I while, I was too scared to open my eye again. When I finally opened it again I had apparently been snoring for two or three hours… it was morning. She was breastfeeding the baby. I quickly got dressed and went to work.

As soon as I got to work I called to see if everything was okay. She said everything was fine, not to worry.

My wife wants me dead, and I have no idea why.

Last week, when I got home from work, I merely asked what was for dinner. I got the icy stare.

Eight days ago, when I told her the house looked in disarray, I got the icy stare.

I wonder what it is that is going wrong. Maybe taking care of the baby has pushed her to her wits end.

Please watch your local news, pay close attention to the missing persons reports.

IF I turn up missing, well, just keep watch.


  • At 12:38 PM, Blogger Kar said…

    My guess is the icy stare is coming from what you are not doing....duh..

  • At 12:48 PM, Blogger Serenity23 said…

    I cannot stop laughing at this post. Have you ever heard of post partum depression? Are the case of "this son a bitch is sitting here chilling while I'm taking care of the baby and now he asks me what's for dinner?" Maybe you need to buy some roses and have them delivered.

  • At 2:20 PM, Blogger Sonnyredd said…

    Dude, not for nothing...

    She seems to be doing stuff for the baby, you seem to be mad that she isn't 'hot' anymore(frumpy), that she doesn't clean hard enough, and wondering what's for dinner (I'd wager hardly a 'hello,' preceded it, let alone a 'hows your day').

    I know this one had to be for kicks and giggles, cause this post couldn't be serious...

  • At 3:39 PM, Blogger Butter Pecan said…

    Ok..Like serenity said its post partum depression depression. Every woman goes through this. Only you are not making the situation any better. To her you are only thinking about yourself and she's not having it. Taking care of a baby is hard, when the daddy is always sleeping or looking at tv.You need to show her a lil affection and help out a little. She would really appreciate that.

  • At 4:28 PM, Blogger Christine said…

    I'd skip the icy stare and go straight to shooting you the bird, then SHOVING the bird right up your ....

    Here's an idea - tonight you can say, "Honey, as soon as your done feeding the baby, let me do the burping and diaper changing. During the night wake me up to do it - even if you have to kick me. If I'm grumpy, ignore me. I need to help you more."

    Otherwise, watch your back!

  • At 5:44 PM, Blogger Gunner Kaufman said…

    Word of advice? Just beg for forgivness. For anything and everything. True, it very well may do nothing at all to help you, but perhaps, just perhaps, she'll be gentle when she removes the knife from your back while your asleep. Good luck

  • At 5:51 AM, Blogger souffle said…

    *picks herself off the damn floor* this is HILARIOUS!! and yu absolutely have no clue? *adjusts her specs* LOOOOOL like Christine sed, try helpin her some you know....
    @ gunner kauffman..ROTFLMNBAO!!! *just perhaps, she'll be gentle when she removes the knife from your back while your asleep. Good luck*

  • At 7:10 AM, Blogger Closet Owner said…

    It was just a little levity!!!



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