Skeletons in my closet

The silent running dialogue that I often have with myself.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Sex in the morning sex at night,
Sex in the afternoons all right,
But aint a man on Earth that could stay alive withouta…

Shyte Ice Tee hit the nail on the head when he penned that verse. What would life be without the glories of sex?

Problem is sex really aint all that simple. It is one of mans most natural responses but it is mired in so much puesdo philosophical bullshit. Cant a brother just get some!? Damn.

Okay just kidding, but I will tell you this. I think life would be a lot easier if men weren’t captivated by sex and women weren’t in charge of its distribution.

I used to say that if you don’t water your own grass don’t get mad when it dies, and please don’t get mad if it rains. That really works on both sides of the table. When I was in the that World…

SideNote: I hate when people say that. It is so disingenuous. We still live in the same world we just choose to do different things.

I really lived my life with a “got to get some pussy” frame of mind. Yeah I worked and handled my responsibilities but underneath it all I was really trying to get some from some one somewhere.

Before you twist what I am saying let me break my methodology down.
I truly believe that you can get any woman you want:
1. Say the right things
2. In the right way
3. At the right time.

Sounds simple but it isn’t. My method took time and serious listening skills. You cant run in the store hollering “THIS IS A STICKUP GIVE ME YO SHYTE”
You wind up with $29, a video of yo dumb ass on Americas Most Wanted, and a 10-20 year bid.
You got to stake the place out. Find the problem area and work on a good solid plan. Find the safe in the back, rob the store before deposit day, and make sure no one else knows about your plan. That way you end up in the Bahamas.

You used to have to work to get some. My slow jam tape had to be perfect, it always started with Tender Ronnie, and ended with Moments in Love. If you don’t know you better ask somebody. I am interested to know if those slow jam tapes worked?

You had to bring something to the table. I thought all you needed was clothes and a personality. I always strove to be cool. Then I realized that girls really want the dude with the car. Then I moved on to the apartment being the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Sometimes the prior suffered for the latter, but such is such.

I longed for the day when if two people liked each other, connected, they could freely have sex. No boyfriend girlfriend drama. No need to meet the family lets just f%ck!
Now quite as it is kept, I know a lot of you was secretly sexually active and freaky with yours. Yeah…I am talking to you!

But now the world is on its ear. Who would have believed that in the days of Aids sex flows from the mouth of babes like a fountain. We are living in some sort of new sexual revolution. Women are as open as men about there sexuality. It is really kinda refreshing...I think???.

But alas this new sexual freedom potion with the power to make women drop them drawers is lost on my generation. I grew up during the Aids epidemic. I grew up when girls in High school didn’t have sex, much less middle school. Hey, I knew some were but it was not like talking bout.

I remember fingering a girl was reason enough not to wash your hand for a couple of days. Now these kids having orgies and gangbangs. I grew up during a time when blow jobs were tabu. Go figure that one out. I would have said oral sex, but every brother knows that he was eating pussy long before he was hittin it. That was just "settin the table". Still if a brother asked, you denied while puling pubic hairs from your teeth. (YEOW...GROSS)
I grew up when people were just coming out of the closet now they flipping out, swinging out, jumping out grabbing six others and jumping back in.

Maybe a sexual revolution isn’t what we needed. Maybe a responsibility revolution would have hit the spot.
Maybe sex shouldn’t be the focus of so many lazy minds. Maybe it aint okay to be open about your sexuality.

Sex in the morning, sex at night! (With the same partner of the opposite sex)
Sex in the afternoons alright. (See above)
But aint a man on Earth that could stay alive withouta…
SEX DRIVE (See above in conjunction with the proper use of condoms, and a thorough review of all local state and federal laws and statutes, cause that sex can kill ya, put in jail, make you broke.....)


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