Skeletons in my closet

The silent running dialogue that I often have with myself.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Christmas Confession

Don’t call me Scrooge, or Francis Xavier Cross for that matter, I just have some small minor issues about Christmas that I would like to share.

When I was a child I loved Christmas. I planned my gift list out in detail. I was prompt in sending my list to Santa right after Thanksgiving. I wanted to give him and his little elves plenty of time to find Ram-Man, Skeletor, and Man-At-Arms action figure. I was aware that Destro, Dialtone, Monkeywrench, and Shipwreck were popular characters and in high demand. I didn’t want to miss out so I got my list in early.

As I got a little older I wanted to believe in the big guy but the logistics were getting in the way. I was bright for my age but childhood innocence kept me a true-believer. I opined that with the combination of different time zones, and a really fast sleigh, Santa could possible get these gifts all done in one night.

We all remember the first true realization that Jolly Saint Nick was really Moms and Pops. Standing outside during the Christmas break, (which lasted like a month when I was a kid) you and your podnuhs talking about what you getting for Christmas. All it took was one dude to question Santa’s existence.

“You know there aint no Santa Claus right?!”

“The rest of us would chime in no duh, man come on, only little kids believe in Santa.”

When I first uttered that faithful statement, I quickly said a pray under my breath, asking Santa to forgive me if he was real. I don’t know why but I used to equate Santa with God… But that is another long story.

So once my belief system was shattered, I didn’t quite make my list with the same wanton abandon. In fact my Mom stopped asking me for my list, and just started asking me what I wanted for Christmas… Bah-Humbug!

I was older and I moved to more acceptable choices in gifts. I reviewed what I needed, and what I could do without. My selection moved from toys to clothes and electronics. I didn’t want to bankrupt my peoples so the list got smaller and smaller.

Then as a young adult, before I made my own family, I went some Christmases with out getting a thing. A mean, yeah some little booty I was with at the time would make the attempt, but lets just face it, Christmas was not what it used to be.

Now fast forward to me and now! My little one still makes the list, even though at 11 going on 27 she doesn’t believe in Santa.

In fact I know she don’t believe in Santa thanks to her mom, and this next door neighbor who was hot!!!

And my wife! Well, last year we were in Jamaica missing Christmas because of a snowstorm, this year between the Hurricane, the Baby and her not working because of the aforesaid, we decided to not exchange gifts for Christmas. Just make sure the Little Miss gets what she wants.

Now Closet aint no fool! Of course I got her a gift. Two in fact! Shyte I do want to get some for Christmas!

But now on to my confession. I hesitate to say this, again just in case there is a Santa, but Christmas the Holiday is for women and kinds.

I know that is a shocker but I really stopped getting what I wanted when I learned that there was no Santa Claus. My gifts have been monitored from that day to this. I never really ask for what I want because I know:
I will be paying for them anyway.
I can’t afford the shyte I really want!

Okay follow me on this. I aint mad about it, I just have come to realize that the true deal is to give. That is enough for me. I love to see the smiles and the joy when my loves get what they want. That is really enough for me. But I will tell every woman out there stop even asking your husband what he wants for Christmas. Get him a tie and some cologne, or a robe. You really don’t care what he really wants. You are just asking to be nice.

You still not feeling me on this one. Okay, go home and ask you Husband, boyfriend, Man, significant other what he really wants for Christmas and promise that you will get him whatever it is he ask for. Just don’t be calling me mad, or broke when you get your answer. And if he don’t say:
52 Inch Plasma Screen
An Airplane
BMW 545I
A Threeway with one of your sexy friends!
A trip to Vegas with his boys.
Between 28 and 368 thousand dollars.

He is lying!

Merry Christmas everybody! See yall on the other side of the Holidays.


  • At 9:04 AM, Blogger Serenity23 said…

    You are really a fool.. Santa sitting next to Jesus huh? HA! You're stupid..

  • At 9:56 AM, Blogger Brotha Buck said…

    You hit that one on the head. I truly enjoy the giving aspect of it, especially in providing for my wife and son. Now, here's what burns me. My grown daughters wont as much as send cards or notes. But let me forget to send them a gift....

    I never have, but I know not to either.

  • At 9:58 AM, Blogger Kyan said…

    I never really thought about Christmas that way ... but you're right. Merry Christmas anyway!

  • At 10:30 AM, Blogger Cynthia said…

    Interesting. Don't ask, just give a tie. I think Christmas is for kids. I don't exchange gifts at all.

  • At 10:42 AM, Blogger Butter Pecan said…

    I like the concept of not asking, but like you said we do it to be polite and what yall say, whateva you bye baby. Yea right.

    You made the perfect list for yall.

    You is really crazy!!!!!!

  • At 12:47 PM, Blogger That Girl Tam said…

    You're a HOT FUCKIN MESS man! HAHAHAHAH!! I was disappointed when I found out that my MOM was Santa...and I keep bustin Justin out for trying to ruin it for Ryan...he's 5...let him have Santa!

    I know my husband's list is similar to the one you just @ 3-way with one of the sexy friends! HAHHAHA!! How many men have proposed THAT one? HAHAHAHA! I ask him what does he want that I can afford! I ain't no fool! HAHHAHA

    Happy Holidays to you and your family...

  • At 8:21 PM, Blogger Carmell said…

    ok i didn't read this cause i'm about to fall out. but i wanna see a picture of you silky. what is his/her name?

  • At 12:48 AM, Blogger DJ Diva said…

    happy holidays!!!

  • At 10:59 AM, Blogger Serial_Dater said…

    Ah Christmas. I remember the day I exposed the farce of Satan Claus. Those were the days. ;o)

  • At 12:18 PM, Blogger Dee said…

    hope you got sumthing you wanted............

  • At 4:19 PM, Blogger Schatzi said…

    We make Christmas about the kids. My youngest, 6, still believes and I threatened the older two to leave it that way until SHE figures it out. I'm sure it will come next year when a class-mate spills the beans!

    Hope your holiday was all you wished for!

  • At 9:09 PM, Blogger The Princess Herself said…

    The jury is still out as far as the boy is concerned. He had issued a statement with his Christmas list this year:
    "Mom, here is my list. Just tell me the truth. If there is a Santa, this is what I want. If there is no Santa, give it back and I will take it easy on you."
    ~LOL~ I never answered him.
    Have a Safe and Happy New Year!

  • At 8:51 AM, Blogger Juicy said…

    Love the list! And if possible to give I wouldn't mind giving it! Making the other person happy is what makes you happy!

    Have a wonderful Holiday Season!


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