Skeletons in my closet

The silent running dialogue that I often have with myself.

Friday, December 16, 2005

The White Gene!

They found the white gene!

Thank god now we can finally explain why white people exist.

Well just imagine all the far reaching implications that this can have. I predict that genetic sampling and testing will now hit a standstill. Some expert is going to come out and say that all genetic stuff is incorrect and just plain voodoo science.

Furthermore the President is probably going to issue an order banning any further research into genetics and DNA. Mass book burnings will be held bent on destroying all knowledge gained from such wicked science.

People all over the modern world will be in an uproar. Opponents will be at the fore front challenging genetic research as an abomination before God. But no rioters will take to the streets. Eventually it will all quiet down and we will continue as if genetic research was an aberration.

Why you ask?! Why would people, scientist, the President, the world go to such lengths to stop cutting edge research and medical advancement?

The answer is simple and two fold!

We have long sense suggested that the white race was some unnatural mutation. An unwanted genetic defect that disgraced a group of people who could no longer consider themselves people of color. I myself scoffed at my Muslim brothers and their counter parts who drew these illogical conclusions.

“White people are mutants, the devil, a blight to human kind” they would proclaim to any ear unable to flee their preaching’s.

Damn looks like they might not be 100% wrong. This research is suggesting that White people are a genetic mutation. Cells that just don’t want to act right! I can draw several parallels to mutations in the human genome…but all have negative effects: cancer, sickle cell, every birth defect has genetic origins.

The second reason, the real reason that this research will be suppressed is this…..

IF A GENE CAN TELL US WHO IS WHITE, CONVERSLY THERE IS A GENE THAT WILL TELL US WHO IS BLACK!

Take a second to wrap your head around this one.

What happens if Joe Whiteguy happens down to his bank to get a loan? He walks in and is greeted warmly at the door. He tells Tom W. Bankowner (the W stands for white) that he needs 50 thousand.

Tom W.: “Sure Joe No problem”

Joe W.: “Thanks Tom”


Little does Joe know that that little handshake at the end of the meeting was actually a skin graft sample. A sample that will be used to run test to determine Joe W. true background.

Two hours later, the phone rings at Joe’s Home:

Joe W. “Hello?”

Tom W. “Mr. White Guy?”

Joe W. : “Yes”

Tom. W.: “Sorry, we have to deny that loan application”

Joe W.: “Hey, what do you mean buddy! Why?”

ToM W. : Well Joe, I don’t know if you know but you are a nigga, we ran the DNA test! I ran it myself twice. Sorry my good man, but you are black” Hanging up the Phone

JOE W.: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Banking industries would crash over night. Millions of people’s credit would fall into ruin within weeks. Mass suicides would take place all over America. The world would end as we know it.

The good new is: Several Affirmative Action bills would pass both Houses of Congress.
Billions of dollars would be paid out in reparations.
And finally Bill Clinton could come out of the CLOSET.

8 Comments:

  • At 1:10 PM, Blogger That Girl Tam said…

    LMAO...you are a HOT MESS!!! But I agree totally...that bank scenario is hilarious! HAHAHAHA...now they'll know how WE feel going in a bank and getting turned the fuck down!

     
  • At 2:12 PM, Blogger Miss T said…

    But it might also cause more white people to start playing basketball, rapping, running track (Short distances). What if they thought they were black? They wouldn't be intimidated anymore. This could more than ruin a few things. And what about affirmative action???? No more Tulane scholarships for the 'real' black people.

     
  • At 3:15 PM, Blogger Georgiapeach said…

    I am the discovery chanel queen. So I would presume the same about the gene, considering the oldest human skeleton they have found is African. Good post. But the truth of the matter is, is that we are all sisters and brothers.

     
  • At 3:57 PM, Blogger Closet Owner said…

    @Peach
    True, but that aint nothing I can joke about.

    @Miss T
    Black people dont go to Tulane

    @Tam
    True...I am still mad about your long azz post (wink)

     
  • At 4:05 PM, Blogger Georgiapeach said…

    You know what I didn't even understand what I wrote after I wrote it (?). How did you?..lol

     
  • At 4:11 PM, Blogger Closet Owner said…

    We there dawg.

     
  • At 4:40 PM, Blogger Georgiapeach said…

    Now you know you better hurry up and link your sister.

     
  • At 8:20 AM, Blogger Cynthia said…

    LOL!

     

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