Skeletons in my closet

The silent running dialogue that I often have with myself.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Wait till next week!

I really am getting back rolling, just dont want to give it to you all at one time!

Friday Mini Rant

Nothing really new for the faithful few.

I was working too hard on something that was pointless. A rant that would only serve to alienate others. I have noticed that cyberblogspace is dominated by females. I say females cause “All people that sit to pee aint necessarily ladies to me”.

Something crazy my Pops used to say. Old people have some wide-open little colloquialisms.
“See you later alligator; After while crocodile”
“Hell to tell the Captain.”
“Colder than a witches titty in an iron lung.”
Many little other sayings that I fail to remember because I am writing about it.

I love to read what women write. I love to believe I am truly getting inside the female mind. But then after reading the Post about:
“The baby daddy”,
“The Booty Call”,
“Raising Kids on My Own”,
“Men Aint no Good”,
“Women friends aint no good”
I start getting nervous.

Do females really think this about their lives, about men, about other women? I can feel emotion in the lines; I can sense the heartache, heartbreak, anger, depression, and sorrow.

It worries me.

Lets just face it, if you have a computer, if you are savvy enough to use it, if you are literate enough to publish blogs, you really have it pretty good. That means you are educated, creative, probably employed, and mentally sound. You are so much better off than most people. But we tend to not get outside ourselves to view the world.

The hardest thing for any person to do is to step outside of themselves and view a situation from other aspects. Once it is no longer personal then a clear mind makes clear decisions. I am not even saying that in your subjective views you are incorrect.

My Pop used to tell me, “Subjective minds find the problem; Objective minds solve the problem.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

The Dark Side Wins Again

Okay homophobes, what is the damn deal.

Sheryl Swoopes is gay!

First thing I have to say about this is no f*cking joke!
Look at the chic. Look at her profession. I hate to say it but most of the chicks on that level probably been there and did that.

Now that I got your attention let me explain my reasoning.

Remember the female Physical Education teacher back in Elementary, Middle School, and High school. Let me if any of these names sound familiar, Coach Jo, Coach Stein, they never had flowery pretty names. I think they even had a little group that always hung together. She had short hair, she wasn’t married and she barked orders like a drill sergeant. She had an obvious disdain for the male knuckleheads in the class. She always took a special liking to the best female athlete in the class. In fact once she took some young girl under her wing, all the girl every did from there on out was hang in and around the gym.

I think it was a little more to all of that than just the standard mentor deal going on.

Plus that athlete, once recruited, kinda gave up on the rest of being a girl. Showed up at parties barely putting forth the effort to even look feminine. She had obviously been inducted into the cult of lesbianism.

Now fast forward to adult hood. Here is the same girl/woman who gave up on dudes years ago. Woman athletes, all raised in generally the same manner surround her. What choice does she have?

So again what did you expect! Besides the truth of the matter is all woman have that very same ability to go to the dark side. It is not that big a deal to be a lesbian. I am not just speaking as a man on this one.

Maybe I am, maybe it is my secret desire that all woman are closet lesbians. Maybe I am the typical man that thinks that woman having sex with each other is some hot shyte. Maybe I still long for the days long past, wherein my freedom allowed me to experience all the rich and vast sexually offerings currently acceptable in today’s climate. Maybe I am just a freak.

More the point of this whole issue; Sheryl Swoopes now says that she chose to be a lesbian. Finally, someone who isn’t scared to truly come out of the closet.

See, I am a nurture kinda guy. I believe it is environment and upbringing that contributes lots to a person’s sexual makeup. I don’t believe we are born with sexual tendencies hetero or homo. Little kids are at most asexual. They learn what to find attractive from observing their environment and relating to it.

My thinking is that 80% of all people with gender identity issues have been subjected to some form of deviant sexual behavior at some point in their young lives. As a matter of course as our society relaxes more and more of the restrictions we place on behavior, we create a more oversexed population. Which eventually leads to deviant sexual behavior.

I may be wrong but I doubt it!

Last thing, I have noticed a trend lately on my web travels. Some people blog reverently. Suggesting that conversations on topics of certain natures are well beneath their blogs. Cool, its your blog, do what you do!

Then I happen to run across comments on other blogs by the “Holy Bloggers” that well simply put are really “gully”.
Damn is that what they call contradictions.

Don’t get me wrong. Please feel free to express yourself. Let it all hang out or in. But don’t liter cyberspace with your riff raft and expect your yard not to contain debris. Plainly put!

So if I have offended again, I IS SORRY! I hope you can take a little banter with my electronic offering this morning, if not please let me know.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Closet Journal

Closet Journal.

August 26, 2005.

Went to New Orleans to see the Saints play the Ravens. We got blasted, but it is only the preseason, we will get it together, this will be the year. Got to have faith.

Never understood why people will sit in seats that they are not ticketed for, especially grown folk. Then when the rightful seat owner arrives, you check your ticket as if to indicate that somehow you were mistaken, or there has been some mix up at the ticket office, or I must have the wrong seat. Go ahead, look at the seat number, its underneath. Yeah, I know you are sorry, now move.

Jackass only moves two seats over, shyte I know them aint your seats either.

Also went to the Casino. Not much of a gambler, but they have a new club in the Casino, live dancing and singers. Almost feels like Vegas.

Doing my fantasy football draft Friday. Can’t decide if I will try and grab, T. Owens, or R. Moss maybe even M. Harrison as my top receiver.

Staying at the in-laws house in New Orleans East.

Watched the weather last night, mentioned something about a Hurricane, killing 2 people. Hmmm.

August 27,2005.
Draft day is here. Got to get my drinks together, my food. I left the directions in BR.

Just got a call from my Pops.
“Hey son what you got up for today”
“Draft party, should I get T. Owens or M. Harrison as my first WR?”
“You Coming by the house to me and your brother are going to the movies”
“Nah, draft party dude”
“What about later?
“I’ll see, I am in New Orleans”
“What?!?!?!?! Son, get the hell from down there, there is a Hurricane coming”

Okay, so I was sleeping on the hurricane, but damn looks like it is headed this way. But I got plenty of time, still going to my draft.

I grab D. McNabb as my QB and D. McAllister as my RB. C. Johnson is my WR. Oh well sounds like a start.

Nother call from my Dad, I don’t understand why he can still call and cuss me sometimes…I better get my ass out of N.O. This storm is looking crazy.

Finally got home, My father and mother-in-law are 2hrs behind me. I took 1-12 out of Slidell (the Back Way).

My father/mother/bother/sister-in-law arrive. Traffic was a beast. This Storm Katrina is looking kinda serious. I think we might get a direct hit. Nothing new for us though, we are used to preparing for Hurricanes, this is just par for the course.

The total in my house is 7.

My in-laws were headed to Houston but somehow the reservations got gummed up. I offer my spot “because they is family”.

August 28, 2005

The rest of my in-laws call, they are just making it out of New Orleans. They Will need to stop by my house for a little while.

My in-laws arrive and the siege is on!
Grandfather/grandmother in-law
Aunt/uncle/and their 2 kids in-law
Cousin and her 4 kids in-law
Second Cousin and his wife in form Kentucky on Vacation in-law

All total that makes twenty people.

I don’t have a twenty-person house. I don’t have 7-person house. Luckily my Mom gave me some garage sell air mattresses a year ago that I hid from my wife to keep. Luckily I had stocked up on water and other supplies. Luckily….

Okay, here is the real. My in-laws from New Orleans talk about me so bad cause I am from the “sticks”. Well, well, well luckily for them, their son-in-law lives in the sticks so they could be high and dry, out of a shelter, saving money that would have been spent on a hotel. He who laughs last….

The storm really looks bad. We are going to take a direct hit. I have been around for direct hits but none of this size and magnitude. I am worried for those who are still in harms way. News reports show people in cars on the interstate.

August 29, 2005
The storm hits!
More on that later so stay tuned!!!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I is BACK!!!!!

It has been a number of weeks since I last posted. I really have not had the time or the energy to post. What can I say; my life has been a roller coaster of a ride for several weeks now.

Where to begin:

Made some history. 10-10-05 at 10:01am the world was treated to my progeny. That’s right a bouncing baby boy. A monster. A huge little tit sucker. I can’t wait to get dis dude trained in the art of cutting grass. More on that later!

Hurricanes, Hurricanes, Hurricanes, my gosh my god. Not sure if it is the end of days or good ole global warming. What I do know is this! The devastation was on biblical proportion. More on that later!

I did not win the Powerball! I know some of you are not shocked. But I just knew I was going to win. I even bought lotto tickets for the first time. Damn my luck.

My Saints, my glorious Saints, what become of thee. The shyte is hitting the fan on that one. More on that later.

Now a quick little moment, in my time to discuss. My hands awkwardly hover over the keyboard. My jumbled thoughts filter into sentences as words change, meanings are explained. My pauses only interrupt my pauses. What do I say!

My first time was so new to me, so long ago. I forgot what it feels like. I need only to be panicked once or twice for my new Daddy instincts to resurface. I get to experience this miracle again.

We chose not to determine the sex of the child so our nervousness is heightened. I want a healthy baby and that is all that matters boy or girl.

Okay I really want a boy, but God might put the ole one two on me if I make that kinda of request. Just make it healthy. Whatever the baby is it will just have to love the football bottom line. I messed up on the first one.

After much hard work and cutthroat deals it is decided that if the child is a boy, he will carry his father’s name. My chest rises.

Truly a miracle, an 8lbs 7oz miracle. Instantly I like him. Immediately I love him. In his new eyes I see all the possibilities. He is a beautiful boy.
My chest rises.

This boy has one hellava “Johnson”!
My Chest rises!

Through all of this please don’t believe that I have forgotten the other important part of this dynamic duo. This dude is my nigga for life. She was unbelievable in her calmness. Amazing in her strength. Plus she made me a little me, got to love that.
Now we are dealing with the whole breast-feeding thing. Is it okay if I get a little jealous. I am so ashamed.