Skeletons in my closet

The silent running dialogue that I often have with myself.

Friday, February 17, 2006

My Life Part I

Sorry to stop the freaky Friday, but I have a post that I was working on and it got too long so I decided to post it in parts. It kinda shows where i am coming from. Once again Freaky Friday will be avaiable next week!

I spent the better part of 4 years trying to recover from one mistake I made. A simple mistake that I was forewarned about, but a mistake I made nonetheless. Nineteen is a hard age to decide to begin adult life. Meaning most people start adult life after college, after they start their first career, some even wait until they get married to officially begin living as an adult and throwing away childish things. I was not offered those opportunities.

Now before I start the pity party let me put things in the proper perspective. If you ever read my blog in the past you might have heard about my harrowing decent out of my child hood. I ran into women problems at an early age and older women do so much more than just give you worms. They can give you joy, pride, confidence, and arrogance if you lucky. The bitter side to that coin is that can also leave you with woe, humility, insecurity, and a broken spirit.

The head was up on this particular set of femininity. And I swaggered and boasted like any 18-year-old laying serious issue on a 29 year old stallion. Not only did my shyte not stank but it was so clean that I didn’t see the need to wipe my ass. And this arrogance showed.

I finished highschool with offers and scholarships to go to 5 schools, Hampton, Xavier, LSU, Southern, and USL. At the time my father was heavily involved with Southern so I whittled that choice out the bunch. Hampton was rather expensive even with my academic scholarship, and I was heavily of the mindset that I didn’t want to my daddy to pay shyte for me to go to school. Xavier was more practical but it still required money from my father so it was a no go. The choice fell between USL and LSU. The choice really came down to this old woman giving me pussy every day in Baton Rouge or starting over from scratch. I chose puzzy and said fuck you to scratch.

The dye were cast and I started my collegiate journey. My weeks started simply Monday night and Tuesday I spent at my parent’s house. Tuesday night through Sunday I ran dem city streets.

I ran them hard too. I spent many nights with friends or with “the older woman”. Life was fun. School suffered! Work suffered! My family suffered!

Yes, I had a job at the time. I have been on the grind sense I was 14 years old. I have been making money in some shape of fashion since I was a niglet.

Finally that shyte drew a head, and that head had the shape of my father.

One night as I was leaving my parents house with my change of clothes and a toothbrush, my father confronted me.

“Say Son, where are you going, or better yet, when are you coming back” his eyes pleaded for a confrontation that I was happy to give him. As sorted as our history was I still loved to receive the punishment he dished out.

“I told Mom that I was leaving!” I replied smugly, not answering a question directly was the easiest way to stoke the fire.

“That wasn’t what I asked you son. Look, you leave here all times of the day, you don’t respect this house, hell you don’t even call your Mom, and you know she worries about you. IF you don’t want to tell me where you are going, then just tell me when you coming back”

My reply was sift, eloquent and so apropos, that it fell softly and gently from my lips,” I will be back when I get here”

The rapid succession of punches could only be described as a flurry. The Black gods of ass whipping granted speed and strength to my pops for the singular purpose of beating my ass. I was pinned to the door, heart racing unable to breathe. I starred down out this man whom I had misjudged for sometime now and feared for my life.

All I could stammer between winded breaths and bruised ribs “Are You done!”

From the hall I hear my mother scream as she raced to protect her oldest son, she grabbed my fathers arm that was in the process of delivering a knockout blow.
My father dropped me from my perch on the door, and with a bellow of rage, exhaustion, and despair, “Get out, get your shyte and get out!”

With that I was a full-fledged adult. From that day to this I have never spent more than one night at my parents house. And that begins my real life. A say real because before that point every thing I did had the co-signature of my Mom or my Pop. My behavior had little reflection on me, they always had my back. But being kicked out, all-be-it deservedly, I was forced to fend for myself, and rely on myself. Oh, the subtle winds of change often blow cold and against you. This is also called learning the hard way.

Comming Soon....PART II

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

On some different shyte!

V-Day went nice.

Thanks to Mary it didn’t end with a bang, but ode the well. I shall not linger on things in the past.

I thought it would be a good idea to do New Years Resolution Update. I know it has only been 2 months but one must be a student to get the best grades.

I don’t know what that meant. I went all Confushas for a moment.

Speaking of grades, my daughter’s friends are all lummoxes. Not a smart one in the bunch. This along with other things is a reason to put my daughter in private school. One of the girls was telling me that her mom was happy that she pulled an ‘F’ up to a ‘D’!

First off who is happy with a D in any circumstances? Isn’t a D still like failing! Second, what the hell happened to the ‘E’? I mean really, A, B, C, D,…..F. What gives? Why did the E get left out of the grade scale? This shyte bothers me because I have no real answer as to why! I mean if you know please tell me!

Did E have a bad agent, a bad PR team who failed to get him in? E needs to fire his people cause that shyte is really a mix up. Imagine a scale of 1 to 5 but don’t include the number 4. That shyte just would be strange.

Besides do we really need a ‘D’ and ‘F’? Aren’t both considered failing. ‘D’ just means you aint the dumbest, and ‘F’ mean you are a failure. To much going on with that.

Okay I am setting the caffeine down now!

The Job Hunt continues, I realize that what I am attempting to do is a long and arduous process. Keep wishing me luck, and keep in mind that my demands are reasonable.

On the boy front, he grows and prospers. He has my wife and my daughter, and no one is left too give me the attention that I need and deserve.

I am still riding the bike and I am trimming the belly nicely. It is time for me to up the ante a little in this regard. I have hit a wall and I need to push my self past it. My weight isn’t really dropping but the good note is I put on a pair of my old boxers this morning and they fit without being skin tight.

The Guitar has suffered a little. I think I got a little bit to complacent with my awesome progress and eased off the practice. But I shall turn that tide again starting this week.

I have been wrapped up in this computer DVD thing. The information on this shyte is unbelievable. Technology is moving quickly. From mobile phones with MP3 players to Blu-Ray the next step in home video technology.

I joined NetFlix and I get the 3 movies at a time…. But I can’t think of any good movies to get. I am a movie collection person and I love to collect movies. Not saying that I am copying DVDs from NetFlix because that would be illegal. But if you were trying to do it, try AnyDVD and Clone DVD to get you started. And has a lot of information for people to absorb and use.

I need the names of some good movies people. I can't think of any right now! Action drama, thriller, please post a list of movies that you liked. Old and new!

Oh well Got to go…holler!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Women make it so hard!

Valentines Day

Okay, here is the deal…my wife almost fooled me for V-Day.

She stated in earnest that she did not expect a gift or anything for V-Day.

I almost bought it! I was almost suckered into not getting anything but a card. But luckily I am the master of the last minute comeback. I set reservations for Ruth Chris, commandeered a dozen roses, and set to spring my trap, early this morning.

Ruth Chris was a job in itself, but with some friends help and a certain charming smile I got my table at 7:30pm, in the most romantic corner of the place.

I wake this morning to spring my trap, and low and behold my wife cancels my plans from the start.

Closet Owner: Happy V-day, baby here is a card with instructions for this afternoon.

Co-Closet Owner: Oh, thanks baby…(30 seconds later) oh baby, we cant go the baby isn’t feeling well, and I don’t want to leave him with someone else when he is sick.

CO: Well, maybe your Mom can watch him for like an hour or so?

CCO: I think they are going out for 7pm. Don’t worry we can do something next year!

CO: Dangone!

Okay, so I scrapped those plans, called canceling my dinner reservations, and reset them for lunch. I am on my way to pick her up with the 12 roses.

Holler…. oh and let me know what yall did on this pagan, commercial, expensive gifting day just for women.